Dear Running: Pinterest and Soggy Runs.

Hey Running,

Well, we're starting training week 8 of 20

This last week has been a tough one on our running journey to the NWM in San Fran….like “I’m not sure I can actually do this” tough.  Like “maybe I should sell my spot in the marathon and try again next year” tough.

But then again, Running, the last couple of weeks have been more than a little bit stressful…

Suddenly we’re in the middle of a major move/life change that kind of came out of left field and dealing with the stress leading up that decision as well as the planning involved now for the rest of the summer.

Two weeks ago while we were trying to figure out what to do hanging out with you, Running, was the only thing keeping me semi-sane with a clear head and every run made me feel SO much better.  You know better than anyone that I am a worrier and a planner so I wasn’t getting a lot of sleep or even managing to eat a whole lot while I was making all of my pros and cons lists.  So last week at 2am regularily I would be on Pinterest pinning things like this:

And this:

 

So 2 weeks ago I was pretty much running on frayed nerves and nervous energy and not a whole lot of sleep or fuel in general but I managed to get my runs in and I was feeling strong.  Running - you were my therapy and exactly what I needed.

 This past week I think it’s all caught up to me.  I have completed everything on my training schedule this week but it has taken EVERY ounce of my energy and strength to put on my shoes and get out the door.  Our runs have been slow, and painful and basically discouraging and disappointing.  I’ve thought – why I am I getting WEAKER AND SLOWER?  My half marathon is in 3 weeks!  I will probably get my WORST. TIME. EVER!

Until tonight.

 I am in Sherwood Park this weekend and working in Edmonton for the next few days.  Today was long run day and it’s been hanging over my head since yesterday…why the HECK would I want to get out there and do what I KNEW was going to be an excruciating slow and painful 9 mile (14.5km) run based on how this past week as played out so far? (No offense, Running, but you were the LAST person I wanted to spend time with today...)

I considered getting it over with last night while I was still in Calgary, I even tried to guilt my dad into going with me but it didn’t work.  Running - I couldn’t even convince myself to get it out of the way so I just drove up to Edmonton and promised myself I’d do it early this morning.  No go.  I had a fabulous day with my nephew and helping my sister pack her house then I headed to my hotel about 9pm.  I considered going around the corner to the gym, getting on a treadmill and just getting it over with.  It was raining out and totally gray and getting dark outside.

I don’t know why but I got up, put on my stuff and headed out for a run in the rain.

It was amazing.

I felt strong, I felt alive and I loved every minute of it. 

Was it my fastest run ever?  No. 

Was I sopping wet and running down some dark streets thinking about whether or not they would be able to get Keith Morrison to narrate my Dateline Mystery special after I was pulled into the forest and murdered?  ABSOLUTELY yes.

But it was awesome because I did it.  I did it when I didn’t want to, late at night when I was tired, in the pouring rain, in the dark.  I did it anyway.

I won this week.  I logged the miles even though it sucked.  Every single one of them.

So a new week starts tomorrow.

I’m not giving up.

Week 8, Running.  It's on.

Becka

XOXO